AnChain.AI's "Agentic AI" Sounds Like the Plot of a Bad Sci-Fi Movie
Agentic AI? Seriously? Give me a break. That's the term AnChain.AI is throwing around after their latest funding round. Sounds like something straight out of a Philip K. Dick novel – and not one of the good ones.
This press release is dripping with buzzwords. "Disruptive innovation," "agentic AI vision," "pushing the boundaries of what's possible in financial security." I swear, if I hear "AI-powered" one more time, I'm throwing my laptop out the window.
Follow the Money (and the Usual Suspects)
The Usual Suspects
So, who's throwing money at this "agentic AI" dream? We've got Cris Conde, former CEO of SunGard. Okay, big fintech guy. Then there's Emmanuel Vallod from HiveMind. HiveMind? Is that a VC firm or a Borg collective? And Amino Capital, because of course, every AI startup needs that Palo Alto stamp of approval.
Conde says AnChain.AI was selected into the FinTech Innovation Lab because it represents the "kind of disruptive innovation our financial industry needs." Translation: "We need something, anything, to distract from the fact that fraud is still rampant and AML is a joke."
Vallod chimes in, saying he's known Victor (presumably the CEO of AnChain.AI) for years through the "Berkeley blockchain and AI community." Oh, the Berkeley blockchain and AI community. That explains everything. It's like a secret society where everyone pats each other on the back and pretends they're not just chasing the next get-rich-quick scheme.
I'm not saying AnChain.AI is a scam, exactly. But this whole thing smells fishy. It's like they're trying to blind us with science – or, you know, "agentic AI."
DOGE Budget Cuts: A Subtle Dig or Just Plain Weird?
DOGE Days are Over?
Here's a weird detail: the press release mentions "recent DOGE-related government budget cuts." What's that about? Did the government finally realize that Dogecoin is a meme and not a legitimate currency? Or is this some kind of subtle dig at… I don’t even know. Maybe they're trying to imply that they're so cutting-edge that they're immune to the whims of crypto fads.
It's also worth mentioning that AnChain.AI is "trusted by U.S. government agencies." Which agencies? What kind of trust are we talking about here? Are they just using their software, or are they deeply embedded in some kind of surveillance state? I mean, offcourse, I'm just speculating. But let's be real – in this day and age, you gotta wonder.
"Agentic AI": Just a Fancy Word for Fraud Detection?
Agentic What Now?
What does "agentic AI" even *mean* in this context? According to
AnChain.AI Announces Strategic Investment Round to Build Artificial Super Intelligence for Fighting Fraud, they're using it to fight fraud and streamline compliance. Okay, so it's basically just souped-up fraud detection software. But why call it "agentic"? Are we supposed to believe that these AI algorithms are now sentient beings, independently hunting down criminals?
I'm picturing a bunch of rogue AI agents, wearing tiny trench coats and fedoras, staking out digital casinos and wire transfer services. It's absurd.
And let's not forget the $200+ billion AML and fraud problem they're supposedly tackling. That's a big number. A really big number. So, are they actually making a dent, or are they just skimming off the top while the fraud keeps flowing?
So, What's the Catch?
Look, I'm not saying AnChain.AI is doomed to fail. Maybe they'll actually revolutionize fraud detection. Maybe "agentic AI" will become the next big thing. But I'm not holding my breath. This whole thing reeks of hype and overblown promises. And frankly, I'm tired of being lied to.
